Christy’s Story Continued
Last week, I introduced you to a woman I call Christy. You read some of her thoughts on sexual abuse and we talked about children of abuse having no choice. Here is more from Christy. This is her personal heartbreaking story. Imagine how different Christy’s story might be, if someone, anyone, had noticed that something was wrong. What could have been different if someone had been talking to here about abuse and telling her the truth about her body? Sexual abuse thrives in secrecy. Sexual abuse is not okay, and it is never the child’s fault.
I was five when I was first molested — or when I first remember being molested. The perpetrator was a girl who was around 12. She showed me pornography and molested me repeatedly over a period of weeks. She was not a family member. My guess is that she had been molested herself.
That experience led to further molestation — at twelve, this time by an 18-year old on a church bus — at night after a church activity. By thirteen I had been raped — which continued until I was 17. At fifteen I had an abortion. This pattern of behavior continued until I joined a different Church. At that point I thought my problems were over and all I had to do was find a good man to marry — maybe one with religious heritage. My trials had only just begun. I was married in a religious ceremony to a man with precisely that heritage — he was also extraordinarily abusive. After a terrible struggle I obtained a divorce (after 16 years of marriage) — but I still live in fear of him.
I wonder if early intervention and education about being tampered with would have stopped this terrible chain of events in my life. That’s why I feel so strongly about what you are doing. I hope you will go through with your idea of the t-shirts. This sort of thing thrives in secrecy — and the sooner it becomes part of our culture to blow the whistle on perpetrators and put our arms around victims — the quicker we will see a decrease in child molestation.
I also wish that religious leaders would deal more aggressively with pornography addiction; my experience with my ex-husband showed a great reluctance on the part of church leaders to take pornography consumption seriously enough to impose consequences — even though pornography addiciton so often leads to terrible abuse of women, children, and even other men.
Thanks for giving me a chance to say my piece. You are welcome to share my story if you need it. I will watch your updates, too, and will buy a t-shirt if they ever become available. I hope you hold a large awareness event, sometime — a walkathon or something. We see this being done for many physical diseases but hardly at all for this kind of problem.
Am looking forward to buying your book. Thanks again!